I started this blog when I was 33 (I am now 40!) writing this blog anonymously, but openly, to share my experiences of fertility and fertility treatment with others who:
- may have similar experiences (FFF’s – Fellow Fertility Fighters), want to learn from the experiences of others and who need to know that they are not alone
- those who I hope, wont have similar experiences in their lifetime, but who may wish to understand those of us who do
- medical practitioners working in the field of IVF, to help them understand the needs and patient perspective of those who they seek to help.
Over the past seven years, I have had six miscarriages, one premature baby born at 24 weeks who only lived for three days, one round of IUI, three of IVF, with the second round leading to a twin pregnancy, problematic throughout due to unexplained bleeding during pregnancy, (sub-chorionic haematoma (bad bleeding during pregnancy) and severe IUGR (restricted growth of one twin) at an early stage (since 20 weeks). My babies had to be delivered at 27.5 weeks and after seven weeks my daughter died. My son however, survived and is now one -and healthy.
I am now trying to produce a sibling, but at 40 the odds are slim. Round 3 of IVF failed, round 4 is in progress….
There is so much that I know now, and wish I had known before, that I would like to share it with those who are experiencing similar difficulties as they try to create a family. I read the blogs of other women who have experienced or are currently experiencing IVF, many of which are heartbreaking and many inspiring. Some of my favourites that I can relate to best are listed below. I can relate to them all in different ways, and find it fascinating that I can be so desperate for women who I don’t know personally, to have a positive outcome. It makes me realise that sharing our experiences is vital my Fellow Fertility Fighters, if we are to stay positive, happy and focused despite all that is thrown at us, so that we can try to reach our goal.
I am writing some of this retrospectively, so Followers of this blog have to put up with some backdated posts being published. I enjoy feedback and welcome comments, questions…. and yes, support!
The Bachelor's Button Blog 
I know you are going through a lot at the moment but I wondered if you have any suggestions on what may have been helpful to you in the early stages of dealing with miscarriages. I have a friend who has just had her third miscarriage and I truly do not know what to do or say for her. Any suggestions?
Hi Laura, It is such a cruel thing. I found that friends who just listened to me ranting about the injustice of it all really helped. I felt angry at my body, jealous about the ease with which others sailed thru their pregnancies, guilty about ‘letting down’ my Husband… and grief of course. I actually found that shallow things helped a bit(going for coctails, afternoon tea, girls spa morning) to pick me up, and make me feel more positive. I would just encourage her to talk as much as posible about it and read blogs of people who have had similar experiences as it makes you feel so much less isolated/freakish. I am also going to write about something that I am setting up in my daughters memory for people who have tough times of it..so do send her in my direction. Just being kind will help her, because there is nothing that you can do that will make it okay..but being a friend to her will help her move forward from it. Hx
I keep thinking about you and I hope that you and your boy are doing well!
Your story is inspiring.Salute your courage. I am also facing same problem. 8 MC ‘s so far. one was IUD in 32 week due to IUGR. no known problem so far found. all tests are normal. gave up my career. and now turn 40 last week. sometimes feel that do not know how long I will be walking through this darkness. But I am gonna try again. don’t wanna give up. I understand that you have one baby boy now. Hope both of you are doing good.will be happy to know your success treatment details. If you can share about doctor and hospital details and your treatment name, I will be very very grateful to you.
Hi that sounds very tough for you. I was diagnosed with natural killer cells and prescribed prednisolone and intralipids. I think this helped me to carry. It would be worth you asking about this and getting tested for it. Kindest wishes and stay positive. X