Train breakdowns and a lotta lingering

Grrrrr. The train today was broken down. And the next one. So I hopped on and off trains to London arriving two hours after setting off, and an hour late for my blood tests. I had them, then a scan where my follicles are all looking HUGE.

I do a little Christmas shopping and am called and told that I need to take 300 of merional. I do so and then return for some blood tests. I am then told to have a scan at 2pm so I lunch (more protein) and head back to the clinic. The doctor asks me when I normally ovulate, which makes me nervous. I don’t know, they always collect the eggs on day 17 say I, but last time they overcooked them. Hmmm, well maybe you need one more day here for them to mature then? I don’t know say I. The whole thing makes me feel really nervous as this will be a VERY expensive gamble if they don’t get the timing right… and that is what I am paying for this time aren’t I?

On the train on the way home I get a call telling me to take another 75 of fostimon and 75 of merional asap. I do it as soon as I get home. I am also told to increase my water consumption to 3 litres a day. Ooooph, I have already gained 8 lbs this round and can hardly fit anything in me as I feel so very bloated. I really hope I get to trigger tomorrow.

And on….

Thankfully the trains are operating normally today, so its back to the 5am start. Today I had an extra blood test for TSH and T4. I wasnt sure what this was, but it turns out that its a thyroid function retest.

Scan at 9am shows that I now have 7 follicles on the left and 3 on the right, of which they think that maybe 5 – 6 will produce eggs. Maybe. All being well. I do really hope so.

If my thyroid is misbehaving I will need to take Thyroxine. Yay! Another medication to throw into the mix. However, it is interesting that they have noticed and considered this. Yet another thing not investigated at my previous clinic and one which apparently can have miscarriage implications.

I meet the 43 year old lady in Natural K and we discuss the wonders of the ARGC, the odds, the COSTS, the fact that for both of us – this is really it. We talk about whether we think we should have counselling afterwards if it doesnt work. About the things that we will do if it doesnt work to cheer ourselves up (this seems mainly to involve wine, beauty treatments, holidays, going out with friends and exercise). We both head back to the clinic to pick up medications and to see if our results are in. She has to have repeat bloods.

I am called – while in the waiting room! and am told that I need to take 50mg of Thyroxine for my elevated TSH which is now 7.4. I grab prescription, pop to chemists and walk back through Marylebone and Wigmore (via a quick window shop at VV Rouleaux which cheers me up) to the tube.

Home. Tired. Boychild for a few hours of mindless play with balls, cups, socks and stuff, then after a 450 merional and my nightly clexane shot, a BIG SLEEP I hope.

Intralipids yes? No – IVig…

Argh! What a day. It is 7pm and I’m on the train home. I started at 5am with my cetrotide jab. I arrived for my bloods on Harley Street at 7.15 with approximately another 60 women, and the professional jabbers racing through us, four women at a time every five minutes.

Then, as instructed I went back to ARGC to collect some medication. They told me to go and have some breakfast and return at 12 for my IVig.

My intralipids?

No you are having IVig.

Uh? I’d expressly said that I didnt want IVig. My cold, fatigue and just general fedupness with having to do another blooming round of drug pumping IVF as a desperate 40 year old, got to me and I burst into tears. And its not just the fact that IVig is a blood product, BUT it is also three times the price of Intralipids.

We can double check if you like. Its just that Mr T says that you should have IVig. Its why he gets good pregnancy rates.

I ask to see a doctor to talk it through. I am so tired of putting all of this stuff into my body. I am just so tired. And poor. Did I mention poor???? £1500 for an IVig drip. And now, if I dont do it, if it doesnt work, I will wonder if the whole shebang failed because I didn’t do as the magical Mr T instructed. I know that really I have no choice, because I dont want to be left after this cycle with any ‘what ifs’. I have to know that I did EVERYTHING, because otherwise this wont be the closure one way or another that I need.

I head out for some breakfast in a nice cafe, where I update my blog with a few back posts. I’ve been without a laptop for a month – so I am sorry to anyone who has had to play catch up with my progress to date – am uploading about 15 posts retrospectively. I return to the clinic at 12 but no doctor is available. I wait until two to discuss the IVig.

Two sets of my CD killer cells (CD3 and CD 19) are raised. Mr T says that this in conjunction with my history suggests that IVig which is more potent than Intralipids in the treatment of killer cells would be better for me. I have no choice even though it feels a little like blackmail. I call my husband and we both freak out about the money, but then decide we have to do it. So I return to reception and pay the £1805 for the IVig and additional medications and wait to be taken downstairs to the gloomy basement for the drip.

I start this at 3pm on a trolley next to a roomful of ladies on trolleys. We even share stands from which our drips are suspended! Surely Mr T (who earned £25million last year so rumour has it!) can afford a few more stands to avoid the going to the toilet requirements of those having a litre of fluid pumped into them while also drinking 2l of water and one of milk daily?

My drip doesnt seem to be progressing very fast, and I mention it to the nurse who attached me. She says it all looks fine, but 15 minutes later another nurse notices and readjusts the lines. It starts to drip down into my veins. Fortunately, my neighbours break the silence and we all chat away during the two hours that follows. Others come and go to our left and right. One lady is also on a project sibling having a 2.5 year old courtesy of ARGC on her first attempt with them. She had to have a LOT of IVig during that round (four doses apparently – goodness I really hope that isnt the case for us – we will have to sell the house let alone remortgage!). To my left the lady is pregnant (Hooray) on her first ARGC attempt after four unsuccessful rounds elsewhere. She is now 13 weeks pregnant but is having her FOURTH dose of IVig! To my right is a woman of 43 for whom this is her first attempt. She met her partner at 35, decided after a few years to marry, had her only pregnancy at 40 which she miscarried, so is here for one shot. A final lady is being treated prior to her treatment cycle as her killer cells are so high. She is having Intralipids even before she begins and has moved to London for two months for her treatment. She is on round six, first here. She definitely deserves a baby. And a bully bullseye tankard and a top prize speedboat.

The drip took 2 hours to filter through. Then I escaped.